Yesterday, I had fill number 5. As with every fill, I am finding myself regretting the reconstruction part. (That feeling always passes though). Fill day is filled with mixed emotions. I’m ready for another one, I’m not ready for the pain/tightness that comes with it. Today for example? Just holding my head up hurts my neck… my chest bone feels like it’s burning… my reconstructed breasts feel strapped way too tight to my chest… my ribs HURT.
I have other physical health problems as well, so I’m certain that plays a big role in the current pain. I imagine a young 20something going through this, might handle it better than I have so far….
BUT
This is probably the best my chest has ever looked (in my opinion). I know they arent going to be perfect, but like I told my husband… if I’m going to mutilate my body to avoid the big *C* word, I might as well get something I want out of it. And as much as I HATE this process… I want to experience all of it. Especially the nice rack part 😛
I am more than halfway done with fills… I just have to stay focused and accept that this is my temporary new *normal*.