… with some background.
(I actually don’t have a clue who is going to read this, so quick intro just in case random folks find me over the internet).
People call me De (not my real name). Mom, wife, animal lover, creator, caretaker, etc.
This whole thing started back in July 2016. I found a lump in my left breast, and after an initial freak out.. appointments were made. THANKFULLY after my first mammogram, ultrasound, and core needle biopsy, it was found to be just a fibroadenoma, and cysts. Benign. What was unfortunate was learning that while I was finding out I did not have cancer, my oldest sister had learned of her own cancer, and was dealing with her battle in the fight against it. This left me with (for lack of better words) some weird survivors guilt. I mean, she’s totally kicking its ass but, it was really hard to deal with the feelings of me being ecstatic that *I* was cancer free, but knowing she wasn’t. And we all knew it was going to suck for her.
While discussing the findings of the biopsy with a breast specialist at Roswell, it was strongly recommended that I get genetic testing for the BRCA 1 and 2 gene mutation. Well let’s see, there is my sister… my mother died from breast cancer that spread… grandparents with cancer, great aunts with cancer.. (and we recently learned that another aunt found out about her own breast cancer). That’s a lot of C word. Needless to say? I was getting this test. And to be honest? I KNEW what the results were going to be… but I guess it’s one thing to mentally prepare yourself for what you already know, but hearing it come out of the doctors mouth just sort of broke me a little. (It was short lived, I promise)
The great news is, I HAVE OPTIONS. Even better than great news? IT IS MY BODY. *I* get to choose what will and won’t happen, because I am now armed with this information. I feel so fucking empowered, it’s crazy. And I am choosing to go ahead with the oophorectomy (strongly suggested) as well as a prophylactic mastectomy and reconstruction. I am aware of what this will do to my body, I KNOW it will not be a comfortable experience, and I also know this will temporarily interrupt the home life. (I pretty much run this house, I’m good at it). But NONE of this compares to what life would be like, and the pain I’d be in… if I just waited around for cancer to happen, then have to go through treatment. NO THANK YOU. I’ve seen what it does to people.
Not every day feels like *De is a total badass*… On occasion I have been sad, angry, scared, and overwhelmed. I just try to remind myself I got this, and I’ve got some help when I need it. I really just want all of this stuff out of my body, like yesterday. And get these new titties in and healed so I can work on the tattoo cover up 😛
Lady ball surgery set for the 23rd of January. Countdown begins…